Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
