he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
