No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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