So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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