Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
