Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
