so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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