And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
