Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
