Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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