HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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