so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
