it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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