I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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