The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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