I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize