So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
