Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
