hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
