Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
