Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize