Your tits are I can't wait for
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It was confusing and full of hummus
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
