So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
