that's an acceptable place to lick
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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