Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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