she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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