Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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