Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
