party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
