I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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