he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
the liver wants what the liver wants
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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