would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
as a side note pls kill me
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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