dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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