i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
