I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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