I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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