Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
