Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize