I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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