idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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