party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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