So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
