Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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