It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Sober January is a disaster.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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