Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
