He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize