You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When are your genitals available?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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