Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I will pee on everything he values.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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