no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
