We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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