why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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