Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
