At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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