I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
