Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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