Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
