She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
