Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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