do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
