I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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