found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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