you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
