and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
