using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize