may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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