That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
