Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize